Slave Submissive frustration

I have a desire that burns deep inside me to get a slave/submissive. I know that this type of lifestyle is outside of the norm and that the availability is not nearly as big as it would be for several other lifestyles. However I also didn't expect that it would be totally impossible, considering that there is an appeal to it to a good number of women. I quickly discovered that there are very few if any women interested in it as a lasting, on going commitment. The majority of the woman that I have saying they are interested in the lifestyle are interested in it only as a means to play or as an off and on thing but not as a commited long term relationship. Through the little I have done I have found I want it as a long term relationship as the benifits and satisfaction of it are far better. To make things worse the couple that I have found that are interested in such a relationship are 20 plus years younger than me one of which is younger than the eldest of my own children.

The age difference is not an issue to me but the fact that it could possibly turn out that I will not only be acting as a master but the possibility that I may also fill the role of parent as well. I enjoy being a parent and enjoy helping people but the possibility sounds kinda creepy that I would need to treat my slave like my children.

I have never been one to pay too close of attention to the boundries of love and all that comes with it or any other boundries for that matter. I only avoid that which endanger my freedom only becuase I enjoy the ability to act and do as I please. This seems to push it not becuase of age nor becuase of what may or may not come to be but the fact that being open as I am my children would be aware of the relationship as it is one that I won't hide it. The problem it brought to my door step though that I am going to need to either accept a much younger woman or that my desires are going to need to stay in my fantasy.

The problem with accepting that it can not be is the desire for a slave gets in the way of my interactions with my wife. Yes I am happily married but our sex life is affected by my desire for a slave and my wife and I tried to do the whole slave thing and it turned out badly as she can not be a slave in fact she is somewhat the oppisite so it don't work.